Hi all,
Dianne and I had taken a week and a half off from each other, but are now back together again. She seems to have changed from before in that she no longer gets angry and loses her temper easily at little things, even when I look at other girls or text other people. She said that she realized that it wasn't good for her to be angry all the time and wasn't a healthy way to live too, and besides that, it accomplishes nothing anyway. So I guess there is hope after all. Perhaps Rocky was right in Rocky IV when he said at the end "If I can change, and you can change, everybody can change!"

Anyhow, last night when we were out with my advisor and new intellectual friends, she told me something disturbing. Last week, during our time off from each other, she had been back to working at the bar again to help support her family (a duty that has been brainwashed into her which she can't resist) and getting off at 4am each night. One night, after collecting her salary from work, she went home. After getting off the jeepney at 4:30am, as she walked the rest of the way home, suddenly a van pulled up, and four guys with black cloth over their faces came out and grabbed her and threw her in the van. She said they tried to rape her at first, but it proved too difficult, so they just held a knife to her throat while covering her mouth, and told her that they were going to kill her if she didn't give them all her belongings. There was nothing she could do, while they emptied the contents of her purse and searched her pockets. When they were done taking everything of value on her, they tossed her out into the bushes.

She said that was the worst experience of her life and traumatized her because she thought she was going to die during the violent struggle. And she had never experienced anything like that before. It kind of reminds me of when I was beaten and robbed in Russia, which traumatized me for a long time too and left me with Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome. She didn't even tell her mom about it yet, probably cause she didn't want to upset her. But she did report it to the police. But there was little they could do since she could not see the muggers' covered faces nor did she get a license number on the van. They did patrol the area though, but came up with nothing. I guess you have to fend for yourself here and can't depend on them. Dianne said that she's lucky to be alive though, because last week another girl was kidnapped, raped and killed afterward. Perhaps like me, she has an angel watching over her too. I wish I could hunt down those four bastards and slit their fucking throats. They don't deserve to live and ought to be executed. It's times like these that make me feel like turning into Rambo!

Anyhow, she lost 2300p (around $45) that she was carrying from her salary at work, and obviously the new cell phone I bought her too! What luck huh? To get robbed on the exact day that you pick up your salary?! What a terrible coincidence! (Maybe the universe or God is trying to tell her to stop working in the bar?) She is pissed that all the money she earned from her hard work is now lost. It seems she and her family have a lot of bad luck. In the two years I've lived in this neighborhood, I've never been attacked or robbed, even though I'm the only foreigner that lives on my block (the other foreigners in this neighborhood live in gated areas with security guards). Yet I hear about muggings that happen frequently here, but they usually happen late at night and the victims seem to always be women. So I guess these crimes are gender-targeted.

And unfortunately, with her cell phone being lost again, that makes it the THIRD freaking time she's lost a new cell phone from being robbed!!!!!!! The first one she lost last year was a Motorola Razr V3i that her aunt in Canada sent her. She lost it when she and her sister went to the crowded market in Angeles, and some kids pickpocketed it from her purse. Apparently, they saw her use it and then put it into the SIDE pocket of her purse (not the main center like she should have), which is easy to snatch from if you just unzip it and grab it in a crowded place. I was pissed cause she shouldn't have gone to that market just because her sister wanted to go. That wouldn't have happened if she had gone with me.

The second one she lost was a pink Nokia sliding cell phone that I bought her from Ebay. This one was odd. She lost it in her own home one night when they were all sleeping, and some thieves broke in and stole all the purses in her home right from their own bedrooms while they were sleeping in them! WTF? Wouldn't you have to have ninja skills to move around unnoticed in an occupied house and get away with it? I had trouble buying that story, but Dianne doesn't make up stuff like that, and there was nothing to gain from such a story anyway. Her aunt from Canada was also there and lost around 80,000 pesos in cash that was in her purse as well. The police told them that the thieves were probably distant relatives of theirs, because they knew that the foreign aunts were there and where the purses were kept exactly.

After that, I didn't buy her another cell phone for a long time. But when I finally did, I told her that this would be the last one as I cannot keep replacing stolen cell phones. I got her a nice Samsung sliding phone, the E250, that could hold a hundred MP3 songs in its memory card and take pictures. She promised not to lose it again, and hasn't, until now. I'm still in disbelief about it. How can she have such bad luck?! God damn it!

She is no longer working at the bar now, as she detests it and is always looking for an excuse not to work there. Plus she missed the last time she was supposed to renew her license.

Anyhow, I told her that I would start a Sympathy Fund for her on my list to try to help her recuperate her tragic losses. So, if you would like to donate a measly 5 or 6 dollars to help compensate her losses from the recent kidnapping and mugging, you can send it to us by PayPal to this email address: Eclectic007@gmail.com

Thanks for listening to this vent and disturbing update.

Sincerely,
Winston


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Does the bar pay everyone on the same day of the week/month?

Probably, but they probably have flexibility in allowing you when you can pick it up. She could have taken the other route to her home which would have been safer, but she never expected that to happen, she said, since it never has before.


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Hi all,
Some of you did not believe Dianne's story about being kidnapped and robbed by four guys, partly because she's been robbed three times now, with the previous story sounding suspicious, and so it all seems too fishy.

Well I will have to admit that I am not 100 percent sure that the story is true. However, I can say that in the past, MOST of what Dianne says has checked out to be true. And when she lies, they are usually WHITE lies or part of her bluffing tactics, but they are usually lies about small things, not big things.

But, since truth and morals are not the highest ideals to her, and since she is not a spiritual/philosophical truth seeker like me, you never know.

However, something suspicious happened yesterday. When I told her that I was going to the local police station to file a report on her mugging (because she reported it to another station one at her cousin's recommendation, instead of the one that governs the precinct where it happened) she became angry and agitated, and started going into a rant about how useless and pointless it is to report the incident to the police, since they wouldn't do anything about it. That was odd, highly suspicious, and a red flag for sure.

But then again, it could be that since she is a highly private person she doesn't like to discuss such things with strangers and has no trust or respect for local law enforcement.

So even if I went down to the police station and checked to see if she filed a report about it, and they say they know nothing about it, it could still be that she only lied about filing the report, but not the kidnapping incident itself.

What do you think?

Sorry for making this sound like a Sherlock Holmes mystery.

Also, she claims to have filed a police report in another precinct, not in this one where it occurred. Now, you'd think that if she did that, then the station in this precinct would have been notified. But in the Philippines, you never know.

By the way, one more thing to note. Months ago, when her house was robbed one night while they were all sleeping (which Dianne still hasn't explained how it happened), the next time I was over at her house, I asked her cousin if the incident really happened. Immediately, Dianne became angry and told me not to speak about it, because they were ashamed of the event. Isn't that kind of suspicious? Her cousin incidentally, said that yes it did happen, but I don't remember if she said that before or after Dianne told me not to speak of it. Either way, Filipinos do tend to lie to cover for each other, even if the one they are covering for is morally wrong. That kind of sickens me. Also, I saw no evidence that the gate bar and window had been cut, though I did not look that closely, but Dianne only said that they had already been fixed or replaced. And Dianne has never explained how thieves could break into an occupied house and stolen all the ladies' purses and gotten away with it, especially in a house surrounded by a locked gate.

Something like that (Filipinos lying to cover each other) happened this morning too. When I took this European girl I hosted to the Clark Airport by jeepney, before we got on, I checked with the driver that it was going to the airport, when suddenly another driver came up to us and offered to take us there for 200 pesos by "special jeepney". I told him that we only needed the standard 8 peso jeepney to take us there, which usually goes there, at least last time I took it. But when I asked the driver of the standard jeepney that was marked "international airport" on it to confirm that it went to the airport, he was silent and didn't want to say anything or confirm it. It appeared he was trying to cover for the other driver that wanted to scam us into taking the special jeepney for a higher price. So it seemed that Filiipinos will protect each other, even if the one they're protecting is trying to scam someone? That's sick. And proves that they have no moral values, for if they did, they wouldn't do that. I don't understand how this country can be Catholic or Christian when people lie to protect scammers just cause they are the same nationality!

Am I the only one that places truth and logic as the highest ideals? Sheesh!

What's odd is that several other Filipinos going to the airport were also duped by that guy, and one young guy even told me in Tagalog that I had to go by the special jeepney. I don't know if he was deceived or trying to help him dupe me. If he was deceived, how can he be that stupid to not recognize a simple cheap scam in his own country? Shit. But the fact that he was talking to me in Tagalog meant that he thought I was Filipino too, and therefore intended to dupe his own kind? Whatever. I don't get it.

PS - It's funny that people here are often shocked at how outspoken, blunt, and logical/truthful I am. They think that I'm Korean and Japanese, which tends to be nonconfrontational, reserved, and gives in to every conflict without resistance. When they find out the exact opposite, and how honest, outspoken and shrewd I am at catching their scams and inconsistencies, they are shocked and I am delighted to teach them a lesson.


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Some interesting responses to this:

------------------------------------

She's DEFINITELY not telling you the truth.

Most likely truths are;

1) she lost them due to her own carelessness and dosn't want to tell you the truth

2) most likely - she sold them for extra money to spend that you would not normally give her - knowing you'd buy her a replacement without question.

Why not post a list of all the alternative stories submitted by listmembers and let them comment on each idea?

Brad Sharp

-------------------------------------------

Wu:
I used to live in Angeles and I visited Angeles this year as well - mainly to think about taking a Philipina wife someday. Well, I've decided that a Philippina girl is NOT an option anymore. Mainly because of bullshit like this. The Philippino people tend to not have the integrity that I seek in a future companion. It's way too common amoung the Philipina women to see this behavior and belief. They lie way too much - even little white lies are not good. This significantly compromises the trust in a marriage with a Philippina lady. I've concluded that it's just way too pervassive amoung Philippina women.
So what do I think is best? Well, I've met many Vietnamese people here in the states and I think they would make a much better spouse than a Philipinna girl would. They are very faithful, submissive to their husband, put family first, tend to hardly ever lie (much stronger integrity in their culture!), and don't "Demand" from their husbands near as much as Philippina women do.
Most Philippina women are "Takers", not "Givers". As you pointed out Wu, Philippino people tend to serve those who are giving them money or "carrying" them in life - even to the point of denying TRUTH! They are much more parasitic in their lifestyle and in the way they live.
I have concluded that other asian countries are better to select a life long partner from. I think Viet Nam would be an excellent choice. Maybe Taiwan as well. Even you mentioned the more desireable traits of Tawainese women - much more integrity and not the Bullshit that you see amoung the Philippina women. What do you think Wu?

--------------------------------------

There's no mysteries here Wu.

At least if you were smart enough.

Your values aren't much higher than theirs are so don't go there.

It's obvious what Dianne as doing. You're being so much of a tightwad that she selling the cell phones that you are giving her and faking robberies.

Do the math.

Chemist

--------------------------------------------

Saving face and maintaining the appearance of respect is a key value for oneself and others in the Philippines.
What she did not tell you was she was raped and enjoyed it. That is why her attitude to you changed. She was
angry because she is trying to safe face of being a good girl. If the truth came out then she could lose face and you.


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Another response:

---------------------------------

BTW, I'm firmly in the camp that does not believe Dianne. Given her proclivity to lie about things, she probably is lying about this. Things that don't add up:

-the police precinct issue (and her reaction to checking in with the police)
-the idea that she was able to fight off FOUR determined criminals from raping her. I think this is complete BS. She is not a martial arts master and if she was able to be forced into a van, once in the van the idea that she would be able to escape doesn't make sense.
-past history of lying
-cultural tendency to lie en masse

I'd say she probably lost the phone or gave it to a relative who needed it more, and they decided to lie to you about it so you wouldn't get mad, but instead feel sympathy for her because she no longer has a phone (again).


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Someone related this similar experience to me:

------------------------------------------

Well, all you'd have to do is go to the police department and see if a report had been filed.

Here's something that happened in Las Vegas a few years back:
My roommate, who was initially OK, got obsessively into gambling. She made $12.00 an hour as a slot technician and couldn't bring home a cent, spent her whole salary AND her boyfriend's whole salary. When it was rent-time...and her payday, she said she'd been robbed at work. Her boyfriend asked how she was robbed. She said she went into one of the sheds at work to get something and had passed out in the shed. While she was passed out, someone had gone into the shed, took her wallet out, took her paycheck out of her wallet, and put her wallet back and left her there!

THEN my girlfriend left two rather expensive rings on my nightstand (pretty stupid of her, actually) and then went on vacation. She called and asked about the rings. I told her "Yeah, they're still on the nightstand"...and I think my roommate overheard me say that. When I came home from work the next day, the rings were gone. I confronted my roommate about them, and she said she had "Found two rings outside on the ground", and pawned them. I demanded the pawn receipts, and got them, then asked how the rings ended up outside on the ground. She said "The Cat must have picked them up and dropped them outside..."

At least Dianne's story has a lot more plausibility.


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"There is only one thing in life worse than being talked about, and that is not being talked about." - Oscar Wilde

Someone related this similar experience to me:

------------------------------------------

Well, all you'd have to do is go to the police department and see if a report had been filed.

Here's something that happened in Las Vegas a few years back:
My roommate, who was initially OK, got obsessively into gambling. She made $12.00 an hour as a slot technician and couldn't bring home a cent, spent her whole salary AND her boyfriend's whole salary. When it was rent-time...and her payday, she said she'd been robbed at work. Her boyfriend asked how she was robbed. She said she went into one of the sheds at work to get something and had passed out in the shed. While she was passed out, someone had gone into the shed, took her wallet out, took her paycheck out of her wallet, and put her wallet back and left her there!

THEN my girlfriend left two rather expensive rings on my nightstand (pretty stupid of her, actually) and then went on vacation. She called and asked about the rings. I told her "Yeah, they're still on the nightstand"...and I think my roommate overheard me say that. When I came home from work the next day, the rings were gone. I confronted my roommate about them, and she said she had "Found two rings outside on the ground", and pawned them. I demanded the pawn receipts, and got them, then asked how the rings ended up outside on the ground. She said "The Cat must have picked them up and dropped them outside..."

At least Dianne's story has a lot more plausibility.


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More responses received today:

------------------------------------------

Winston,

I personally think that the Philippines is a total mind fuck country. And I mean that in the sincerest way. I do not know what to believe anymore when it comes to this country. It is almost like a spy novel in that you don't know for sure who is telling the truth and who is plotting against who. It truly is a total mind fuck. It is like you are playing a game when talking to Filipinas and that there is some satisfaction in out witting the other person they are sparing with. (or outlying) On one hand we as westerners tend to be gullible and feel sorry for folks who have had a hard time. But it just seems like the stories there are so unbelievable and seem like something right out of a spy novel. So I don't want to be the one to say that Dianne's story is true or false. I wasn't there and no one will probably ever know for sure. I know that in my life I have had people who always seem to have these things happen to them that seem unbelievable. Not sure why these types of
things always happen to these individuals. But after a while one has to speculate that maybe these individuals just like to make shit up. Whether it be for attention or to cover up some other incident, it just always seems to be a select few who always have something like this happen. It would be on the level of someone saying they were abducted by aliens and that is why they happened to be late for an appointment. There are always people who have excuses about shit in their lives, like, "I was late because when I came out of the house this morning all 4 tires on my car were flat and then driving to work my oil light came on and I had to stop at the gas station and then ..... and on and on...
I have gotten to the point in my life of just saying it like it is. I was late because I just didn't get my ass moving this morning. So when I hear a fantastic story like this that would make a film writer salivate, I have to wonder if it didn't come right out of a James Bond flick. If in fact this were a common occurance in the Phils; that men in black hoods drive around and abduct young women and then don't rape them but throw them in the bushes after emptying out their purse and taking their cell phone, then I would not be as suspicious of this story. Oh by the way, I understand that cell phones are traceable. I think there are ways to locate a particular cell phone, but I do not know if the police in the Phils are that sophisticated or even care. It seems to me though that in the case of a kidnapping and attempted rape, they would be interested in catching the perps. And in this case I would think that they would want to trace the cell phone to track down these scoun
drels. So you might tell Dianne that you are going to have the police trace the cell phone in an attempt to find out who perpetrated this crime against her. See how she reacts to that.

-------------------------------------------------------

Hey dude, me again....your favorite American...lol. Anyway,I am married to a philpino woman ..over 21yrs now. I know about the way things are in the Phill. It is true that people get robbed, it even happened to my wife on a Jeepney but, I see a more major problem with whats going on here. The problem is this.....You should be able to trust your wife totally but you dont....thats a problem dude. You know that she tends to bullshit about things. Also, her attitude tells me that she is hiding something. I think her and her family look at you as being an outsider....not part of the family.
Bottom line.....I think she has been lying to you and her family covers for her. There is something going on with her. I dont know what it is but its not cool whatever it is. I have written you before and you know me to call it as I see it. (I've called you a wussbag many times) and thats part of the problem my friend. STOP BEING PUSHED AROUND!!
You are a smart man (it really pains me to say that...lol).Use your intelligence and common sense and put a stop to this bullshit.

Your American friend

----------------------------------------------

I think she is lying again to cover something up, as usual... I would go to the police and see what happens. At least it will be good drama if you find out she is lying and flips out cause you did that or found out she actually never filed a report!


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Winston,
-
I'll add to what your friend has said about the lying and taking of Filipina women. So far I have found the same thing. My experiences are the same. The women (maybe men too) would rather create a big story than to ever tell the truth. Once you get used to hearing this you start to not to believe anything they say.
-
They do judge you on how much you spend on them. I have been told which of my friends are good and which are bad, solely on how much money they give to their girls.
-
So far I'd like to see some truth in what they say. They may love you deeply, but if they don't tell you the truth about other things, why should you believe this either. Whenever they ask for money is always some grandiose story, never I'm poor I need money. What will happen if the baby is really sick I or others will not believe them and will not send any money.
-
How are Filipina women from other cities outside of AC? I would hope that if they were middle class this lying "big story" tendency would stop.
-
I will continue my dealings with the Filipina for now, but if I can Not trust anything they say, I'll find a new country to choose my lady from.

WWu777 wrote:

Some interesting responses to this:

------------------------------------

She's DEFINITELY not telling you the truth.

Most likely truths are;

1) she lost them due to her own carelessness and dosn't want to tell you the truth

2) most likely - she sold them for extra money to spend that you would not normally give her - knowing you'd buy her a replacement without question.

Why not post a list of all the alternative stories submitted by listmembers and let them comment on each idea?

Brad Sharp

-------------------------------------------

Wu:
I used to live in Angeles and I visited Angeles this year as well - mainly to think about taking a Philipina wife someday. Well, I've decided that a Philippina girl is NOT an option anymore. Mainly because of bullshit like this. The Philippino people tend to not have the integrity that I seek in a future companion. It's way too common amoung the Philipina women to see this behavior and belief. They lie way too much - even little white lies are not good. This significantly compromises the trust in a marriage with a Philippina lady. I've concluded that it's just way too pervassive amoung Philippina women.
So what do I think is best? Well, I've met many Vietnamese people here in the states and I think they would make a much better spouse than a Philipinna girl would. They are very faithful, submissive to their husband, put family first, tend to hardly ever lie (much stronger integrity in their culture!), and don't "Demand" from their husbands near as much as Philippina women do.
Most Philippina women are "Takers", not "Givers". As you pointed out Wu, Philippino people tend to serve those who are giving them money or "carrying" them in life - even to the point of denying TRUTH! They are much more parasitic in their lifestyle and in the way they live.
I have concluded that other asian countries are better to select a life long partner from. I think Viet Nam would be an excellent choice. Maybe Taiwan as well. Even you mentioned the more desireable traits of Tawainese women - much more integrity and not the Bullshit that you see amoung the Philippina women. What do you think Wu?

--------------------------------------

There's no mysteries here Wu.

At least if you were smart enough.

Your values aren't much higher than theirs are so don't go there.

It's obvious what Dianne as doing. You're being so much of a tightwad that she selling the cell phones that you are giving her and faking robberies.

Do the math.

Chemist

--------------------------------------------

Saving face and maintaining the appearance of respect is a key value for oneself and others in the Philippines.
What she did not tell you was she was raped and enjoyed it. That is why her attitude to you changed. She was
angry because she is trying to safe face of being a good girl. If the truth came out then she could lose face and you.